...Buzz

Welcome to the definitive collation of 'Buzz' antics. It is no longer a tale, more of an art - 'the art of buzz' is now a term used to describe someone, formerly known as a tit.

The Ring Pull Story

It all began on one fine summers lunchtime, when "the lads" were gathered in the school cantine eating the finest of school meals!. On this particular occasion our man Burrage was drinking a bottle of..... Orange fanta when ....................Bongo our man to the immidiate left slyly (in full view of the buzz-cock) dropped the ring pull from his can of Dr Pepper directly into his bottle. Buzz proceeded to shout "you cock" etc etc.. then ,, in a fit of "buzz" rage attempted to hit Bongo but of course failed miserably. He then (obviously exhausted from the battle) took a massive swig of the drink............ there for lodging the ring pull in his throat, much to the ammusment of every1 sitting at the table.(HEHEHE)((What a massive penis(FRM BONGO)))Anhoo, after at least an hour of trying to cough up the ring pull, he was taken to A&E in Hereford with comments from Rose "your such an idiot" "why would you swallow a ring pull!"
5 hours later after X-rays, doctors examinations and check-ups he was not only declaired a cock but also informed that his ring sting was going to get a hole lot worse, as he was told he had to pass the un digested ring pull through his system (FRM BONGO (SHIT IT OUT)) The End.....For Now

How much can an 'M&M' hurt?

How much could an M&M hurt indeed? well in the case of most people not much... we come again to Buz, it was just a regular day in the Ludlow College Cafe, addidas trainers with matching popper trousers as far as the eye could see. Over the heads of these sporting townies many sweets are thrown, mostly at Buz as they are magnetised to his tremendous homo-magnetic force. As he turns to try to stop this bombardment of sweets an M&M strikes him on the centre of the forehead. Surely the end of it...... but no, the force of the single M&M is enough to throw Buz backwards over a step, causing him to fall and crack his head on the step rendering him unconcious, and with yet again another trip to A&E. When asked what happened Buz was forced to admitt he was Knocked over by an M&M!!!

The Chair Race!

A good game to play if your immensley bored and are sitting on a chair with wheels, but not how Buz does it. It was a simple competition of who could push their chair the furthest (Names have been cleverly altered here to hide embarressment) Jon Swan was the first and with a mighty push from the wall managed to clear the first half of his class room, Scott Wod next, takes a moment to pause for thought, builds up and pushes as hard as he can but sadly does not quite reach Jon Swan's score. Up steps Buz................. He takes his seat on the chair, digs his heels in, leans the chair back, pushes as hard as he can, and throws himself straight on the floor in his usual "monkey with a rectal problem" manner, yet again hitting his head on the floor, but luckily not quite with the amount of force an M&M can pack and was not this time required to visit A&E. Though he was laughed at for being a ridiculous twat.

Beware of falling pedestrians...

I was told, to my delight that whilst visiting Ludlow a friend, and collegue had a delightful encounter. As he was preceeding up high street, he managed to see in the distance, what he thought was a drunkard. But oh no. It was infact buzz, stumbling across the street, hands in pockets. 'So what?' i hear you cry, but the story is just beginning. In a fit of 'buzz', scared by a passing pigeon, the gust created from the winged beast managed to throw buzz of balance, sending his face to the ground. Haha. but that is not the end, oh no. Whilst continuing on to Tesco's, he saw (yet another drunkard?) someone collapsed next to a car. It was indeed buzz. he had fallen in agony next to what he thought was his mom's car, but once again oh no. Twas infact a complete stranger, and to their horror indeed.

Romancing the...uhh...tree?!

Buzz once said to me - "you know that rhyme:"

[name] and [name] sitting in a tree,
doing what they shouldn't be,
k-i-s-s-i-n-g...(blah blah)

(he then proceeded to tell me (in girly fashon)) "well anyway, how come no matter who's name you put in, it always rhymes together??" ....right!! So that's about the extent of his chat-up lines, and boy, what a cock!!